American History - A Funny Take

Welcome to American History folks, or as we like to call it, the story of America’s awkward teenage years. From the discovery of the New World to the invention of the internet, there’s been plenty of history to laugh at (and cry about, but mostly laugh).

Discovery of America

Let’s start with the discovery of America, when Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492. Of course, he wasn’t the only one looking for a shortcut to India. But unlike his rivals, Columbus managed to convince his crew that they hadn’t fallen off the edge of the earth.

Founding of the Nation

Fast forward a few hundred years to the founding of the nation. The colonies were tired of being bossed around by King George III, so they decided to declare their independence.

Thus, the Revolutionary War was born. George Washington led the charge, and after some tense moments (including almost being wiped out during the Battle of Long Island), the rebels emerged victorious.

And let’s not forget about the signing of the Constitution. Our forefathers came together to create a document that would serve as the foundation of our nation…and that we all pretend to have read at some point.

Expansion Westward

But America’s history isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Take the forced removal of Native Americans from their lands during westward expansion, for example. Or the fact that we fought a war over the right to own other humans.

And yet, we somehow managed to make it through all of that and emerge as the superpower we are today. Whether it’s inventing the light bulb or putting a man on the moon, America has made its mark on history.

Recent History

Of course, American history didn’t end with the moon landing. We’ve had our fair share of questionable decisions in recent years, such as electing an orange reality TV star as president. But even in the face of all the chaos and division, there’s still hope.

We’ve seen people come together to demand change, whether it’s through the civil rights movement or the push for marriage equality. And while we know we have a long way to go, we also know that we’ve come a long way from the awkward teenage years of our nation’s birth.

In conclusion, American history has been a rollercoaster ride. From discovering a new continent to fighting for our freedom, and everything in between, it’s been quite the journey. We may not have always gotten it right, but we keep striving to do better…and to make it all the way to adulthood one day.