Bratislava: The City That’s Hard to Pronounce and Even Harder to Find on a Map

Bratislava is a town. No, wait, it’s a city. Actually, it’s a capital… of some country… in Europe? Yeah, that sounds right.

Bratislava is actually the capital of Slovakia, a country whose tourism motto should be “Hey, we’re not Slovenia!” Located on the banks of the Danube River and nestled between Austria and Hungary, Bratislava is the kind of city that screams “I’m here, but no one knows why!”

The city is known for its charming old town, which has been tirelessly preserved over the years, despite the fact that nobody seems to remember to visit it. It’s like a cute little puppy that’s been left in the corner all alone. Fortunately, the nightlife in Bratislava is fairly hopping, so at least the town is popular with those who like to party like it’s 1999… in Slovakia.

The architecture in Bratislava is pretty impressive. In fact, the city boasts more Czechoslovak communist blocks and rusty metal sculptures than any other major European capital. But let’s not forget about the Bratislava Castle, which looks like it was designed by someone who’s never seen an actual castle before. It’s like a Lego block castle that was built by someone who lost the instructions halfway through.

And who could forget about the food? Bratislava is known for its delicious Slovakian delicacies, like bryndzové halušky (potato dumplings with sheep cheese) and the local “firewater” slivovica. It’s a good thing that the city also has plenty of parks, because you’ll need somewhere to go lie down after eating all that heavy food and drinking all that slivovica.

All in all, Bratislava is a city that’s definitely worth a visit… if you can find it on a map, that is.