Election: The Art of Choosing the Least Awful Candidate

Election, from the Latin word “electionum” meaning “the choosing of the less terrible option”, is the process by which citizens of a democracy select the individuals who will pretend to represent their best interests for the next few years.

Although billed as a chance for the people to exercise their democratic rights and shape the future of their country, election season is really just an excuse for politicians to plaster their faces on billboards and bore us all to tears with never-ending campaigning.

The true highlight of any election is the seemingly endless barrage of attack ads designed to make you believe that one candidate is the devil and the other is a saint. These ads are usually accompanied by ominous music and dramatic voiceovers, making it hard to distinguish them from trailers for the latest horror flick.

Of course, no election would be complete without the mandatory debates, where candidates stand on a stage and spout rehearsed talking points while trying to avoid saying anything that might alienate voters. These debates can seem endless, especially when you realize that they rarely provide any actual information about the candidates’ policies or their ability to do their job.

But let’s not forget the most important part of any election: the voting process itself. This is the one time when every citizen has a chance to have their voice heard and make a difference. That is, if they can figure out how to use a ballot properly.

Despite the many flaws and frustrations of the electoral process, we must still remember that it’s better than having some tyrant decide everything for us. So, next time you find yourself stuck in a seemingly endless election season, just remember: it could be worse. You could be living in a dictatorship.