University

A ** university ** is a place where young adults gather to pay exorbitant amounts of money to receive an education that will be - let’s be honest - absolutely useless in the real world.

The term “university” comes from the Latin word “universitas,” which roughly translates to “place where you’ll be broke for the next decade.”

Most universities require students to choose a major, which means deciding on a course of study that will determine their future career path. Unfortunately, for many students, this decision is as informed as guessing the weight of a cow at a county fair.

Universities are also known for their lectures, where professors drone on endlessly about subjects that are only tangentially related to the real world. Despite this, students will feverishly take notes, furiously cramming every bit of information into their overwhelmed brains, only to forget it all the next day.

Perhaps the biggest draw of universities are the dorms, where students can live in close quarters with hundreds of their peers. It’s a great opportunity to share all sorts of things - from germs to stories to stolen food - making it the ideal place to become best friends with someone you’ll never speak to again after graduation.

At the end of the day, universities are a strange and wonderful place where people come to learn, grow, and rack up an obscene amount of student loan debt. They’re a time-honored tradition, and we can’t imagine a world without them - even if we can’t quite figure out what the point of them is.