Aphrodite

A hilarious guide to the goddess of love

Aphrodite, also known as Venus, was the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility in Greek mythology. She was the ultimate cougar, always on the prowl for a new piece of man meat to add to her collection.

According to legend, Aphrodite was born from the foam of the sea, which explains why she was always so bubbly and buoyant. She was also known for her striking beauty, which she was not at all modest about. In fact, she frequently referred to herself as “the Beyonce of Olympus.”

Aphrodite was married to the god of blacksmiths, Hephaestus, but she was not exactly faithful. She had more hookups than a fishing derby, and she wasn’t picky about who she got with. She was known to have affairs with both gods and mortals, and there was no limit to the number of lovers she had at any given time.

Her favorite pastime was causing drama between mortals and gods alike. She would often use her powers to charm and seduce mortals, causing them to fall hopelessly in love with her. This inevitably led to jealousy and fighting among the gods, but Aphrodite was always the last one laughing.

Despite her promiscuity and questionable morals, Aphrodite was worshipped and adored by many. People would make offerings to her in hopes of gaining her favor, and she was often the subject of countless works of art.

In conclusion, Aphrodite was the OG baddie. She was hot, sassy, and always down for a good time. Whether you’re looking for love or just a good laugh, Aphrodite is your girl.