Atheism

Atheism is a belief system that worships the almighty, all-knowing, all-powerful… non-existent deity! That’s right, the central tenet of Atheism is the complete and utter denial of the existence of any deity. And why not? Who needs an invisible old man in the sky telling us how to live our lives?

Atheism has a long and storied history, going all the way back to… well, probably the first time someone asked if there was a god and someone else said “Nope, don’t think so.” But it really gained prominence in the modern era with the rise of science and reason, which gave people a framework for understanding the world that didn’t rely on the supernatural.

Despite what some religious people might say, Atheism is not a religion. It has no doctrine, no holy texts, no rituals (unless you count reading Richard Dawkins on the toilet as a ritual). Instead, it’s more like an acknowledgement that the universe is a random, chaotic place and that any idea of a higher power is just wishful thinking.

Of course, like any belief system, Atheism has its extremists. There are the militant Atheists who like to go around telling everyone how stupid they are for believing in God. They’re like door-to-door salesmen, except instead of trying to sell you a vacuum cleaner, they’re trying to sell you on the idea that your entire system of values and beliefs is based on a lie. Lovely people.

But for the most part, Atheists are just regular folks who happen to think that the universe is a big, cold, uncaring vacuum with no divine purpose. We’re not out to convert anyone (unless you count making snarky comments on Facebook as converting people), and we’re certainly not out to destroy religion. If you want to believe in God, that’s fine, just don’t try to tell us that we need to as well.

In conclusion, Atheism may not offer the comfort of a loving deity to watch over us, but it does offer the comfort of knowing that we are not beholden to any divine will. Plus, our meetings are way less boring than church.