Bremen: A Guide to the City (Or, How to Survive the Windiest Place in Germany)

Welcome to Bremen, a city that boasts an impressive number of wind turbines and, unfortunately for residents, equally impressive gusts of wind. But don’t let that deter you – there’s plenty to love about this northern German town. Allow us to guide you through the sights, sounds, and schnitzels of Bremen.

Geography

Bremen is located in northwest Germany, which, as we all know, is the ideal location for wind turbines. It sits on the Weser River, which is not to be confused with the Weiser River in Idaho, though we can understand the confusion. Bremen is also surrounded by the state of Lower Saxony, which we assume is named as such because it’s always playing second fiddle to its superior neighbor, Bremen.

History

Bremen has a rich history, dating back to its founding in 787 by Charlemagne. Fun fact: Charlemagne actually named the city after himself, but over time it was abbreviated to just “Bremen.” In the 15th century, Bremen became a member of the Hanseatic League, a powerful trading network that spanned much of northern Europe. This led to a period of prosperity for the city, although we’re not entirely sure what they were trading. Possibly wind?

Culture

Bremen is home to some world-famous cultural landmarks, such as the Bremen Town Musicians statue. Legend has it that if you rub the donkey’s hooves, you’ll have good luck for the rest of your life. Or at least until the next gust of wind knocks you over. Bremen is also known for its delicious food, such as schnitzel and bratwurst. It’s probably best not to ask what’s in them.

Climate

We’ve hinted at it a few times already, but let’s make it clear: Bremen is one of the windiest places in Germany. If you’re lucky, you might visit on a day where it’s only breezy enough to knock a few branches off trees. But more likely, you’ll be battling it out with gale force winds and seriously reconsidering that decision to wear a skirt. On the plus side, you’ll burn off all those bratwurst calories just trying to stay upright.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Bremen may not be the easiest place to navigate in a windstorm, but it’s still a charming and historic city with plenty to offer. Just hold onto your hat – or better yet, invest in a good pair of earplugs. And whatever you do, don’t tell any Lower Saxony residents we said Bremen was superior. We don’t want to start a wind-powered war.