Buddha

Buddha, also known as Siddhartha Gautama, was a jolly bald man who achieved enlightenment through meditation and a strict vegetarian diet. He spent years wandering around India, spreading his teachings and making sure everyone knew he was woke.

Legend has it that Buddha was born from his mother’s armpit in a forest, which explains his affinity for tree-hugging and his herbal remedies. As a child, he excelled in martial arts and played the sitar, but ultimately decided to pursue a career in spirituality.

One of his most famous teachings is the Four Noble Truths, which basically boil down to “life sucks, deal with it.” He also preached about karma, reincarnation, and the importance of living in the present moment. Clearly, he was a fan of mindfulness and not worrying about the future.

Buddha was beloved by many, but some were skeptical of his teachings. He was frequently taunted by yoga class bullies, who made fun of his potbelly and his weird hand positions. But Buddha knew how to rise above the haters, often responding with a calm “Namaste, bitches.”

In his later years, Buddha became a recluse, spending most of his time meditating under a giant statue of himself. He did make a brief appearance in the movie “Kung Fu Panda,” where he was voiced by Jack Black. Needless to say, the character was a bit of a departure from his usual peaceful demeanor.

Despite his quirks, Buddha’s teachings have had a lasting impact on the world. He has inspired countless spiritual leaders, as well as an array of Buddha-themed decor, such as statues, candles, and yoga pants. He remains a symbol of peace, enlightenment, and general chillness. Namaste, Buddha.