DIAMOND

Diamonds are a mineral renowned for their beauty and durability, and also for their ability to bankrupt young men everywhere.

Origins

Diamonds form deep within the Earth’s mantle under extreme heat and pressure. This is probably why they’re so damn expensive, because it takes a lot of effort to dig them up.

The name “diamond” comes from the Greek word “adamas” meaning “unconquerable.” This is not to be confused with the Adamas Family, who are very conquerable and lose every game of Monopoly they play.

Famous Diamonds

The Hope Diamond is one of the most famous diamonds in the world. It’s 45.52 carats and it’s said to be cursed, which explains why everyone who’s ever owned it has ended up dead or broke. If you ever come into possession of the Hope Diamond, just sell it immediately and use the money to buy a much less cursed object, like a haunted doll or an exorcist.

Another famous diamond is the Koh-i-Noor, which was taken from India and is now part of the British Crown Jewels. The diamond is believed to carry a curse, but since it’s British now, the curse only affects people who speak with an American accent.

Uses of Diamonds

Diamonds are commonly used in jewelry, but they also have industrial uses. For example, they’re used in cutting tools and can even be used to make drill bits. This means that a diamond is a man’s best friend, especially if that man is a handyman and needs to drill through concrete.

Conclusion

Diamonds are a beautiful and expensive mineral that should only be bought if you have a lot of money and nothing else to spend it on. And if you do come into possession of a cursed diamond, remember that it’s always better to be safe than sorry: just sell it and use the money to buy a lottery ticket or something.