/dəˌpɛərˈkeɪ/
The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, commonly known as DPRK, is a land shrouded in mystery and intrigue. It’s a state where time appears to have stood still and the Eternal President, Kim Il-sung, reigns supreme despite having passed away over 25 years ago. DPRK’s capital is the magnificent Pyongyang, a city boasting some of the finest monuments to communism and the only traffic lights in North Korea (though we’re not sure they actually work).
The DPRK is a socialist state, which means that your life is everyone’s business – or at the very least the dear leader’s. If you’re ever feeling homesick, don’t worry because the state has got you covered. There’s no pesky internet or outside world here so you can’t be bothered by those annoying relatives or friends. Instead, daily doses of the state media will provide you with all the news you need, which usually consists of how great the country is doing and how awesome the new missile tests were.
The people of DPRK are some of the most brainwashed – sorry, patriotic – individuals you’ll ever meet. They’re taught that the USS Pueblo is being held in captivity in the Taedong River; that the Dear Leader never defecated, and that the Pyongyang metro system is so advanced that it’s actually hidden from outsiders (which we think is a clever way of saying it doesn’t exist).
As a typical tourist in DPRK, you’ll be treated to exciting adventures such as being taken to visit a toothpaste factory or a seemingly random village with people that will greet you as if you are the president himself. It’s also customary to bow to every statue of Kim Il-sung and his son Kim Jong-il that you come across (which is pretty much everywhere). If you’re invited to a celebratory dance or karaoke night, make sure you’re up to date on your repertoire of patriotic songs. But don’t worry, there’s always the option of fake or forced applause in case you don’t hit the right notes.
As a final word of advice, don’t be alarmed if you see a lot of soldiers and policemen – they’re only there to help you have fun! And make sure to pack your sense of humor, as it’s one of the most important tools you’ll need to survive the absurdity that is the DPRK.