Eyes Closed (song)

Eyes Closed is a song written and performed by someone who was clearly taking a nap. The lyrics are as vague as a politician’s promises and the melody sounds like it was written by a cat walking on a keyboard.

Despite this, the song has managed to garner a small following of insomniacs who use it as a lullaby to help them fall asleep. In fact, the song has been so successful in this regard that it has been banned from being played in public places for fear of causing mass napping.

Critics have described the song as “the musical equivalent of a boring lecture on quantum physics” and “the reason why some people develop narcolepsy”. However, fans have praised it for its therapeutic qualities and claim that it has changed their lives by giving them a good night’s sleep.

In the music video for the song, we see the artist lying in bed with their eyes closed, presumably dreaming up the nonsensical lyrics. The video is so dull that it has been known to induce sleepwalking in viewers.

Despite its rather dubious reputation, Eyes Closed continues to be a hit with those who need a little help drifting off into dreamland. Who knows, maybe one day it will even make an appearance in the Guinness World Records for being the most soporific song of all time.