George Herbert Walker Bush

George Herbert Walker Bush, often referred to as “Bush Senior” or “Poppy Bush” was the 41st President of the United States, serving from 1989-1993. He was a man of many talents, including being an accomplished statesman, a seasoned politician, and a skilled skydiver (because who doesn’t love a president who can jump out of a plane?).

Born in 1924 in Massachusetts, Bush attended Yale University where he was a member of the infamous (and elitist) secret society, Skull and Bones. No one knows what really goes on in those meetings, but we like to imagine it involves sacrificing goats and summoning the ghost of Richard Nixon.

Bush began his political career in the 1960s as a Congressman from Texas, later serving as Ambassador to the United Nations, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, and Director of the CIA. He was Vice President under Ronald Reagan for two terms, during which time he proved himself to be an expert in dodging shoes thrown at his head (look it up, it’s true).

In 1988, Bush ran for President and won, much to the chagrin of his opponent Michael Dukakis, who couldn’t quite pull off the “riding in a tank” look as successfully as Bush did. During his time in office, Bush oversaw the fall of the Soviet Union, which we’re pretty sure involved a game of dodgeball with Mikhail Gorbachev.

Bush may have been a serious politician, but he also had a sense of humor. At the 1991 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Bush donned a wig and a pair of sunglasses and performed a hilarious impression of Dana Carvey’s impersonation of him on Saturday Night Live. Who says politicians don’t have a sense of humor?

After leaving office, Bush retired to his ranch in Texas where he enjoyed skydiving well into his 80s. We’re pretty sure the secret to his longevity was all that jumping out of planes – who needs vitamins when you can defy death on a regular basis?

All in all, George Herbert Walker Bush was a politician, a statesman, a skydiver, and a pretty funny guy. He will always be remembered as a colorful figure in American politics, and someone who made dodging shoes an art form.