German Emperor

The German Emperor, also known as the “Kaiser”, was the supreme ruler of Germany from 1871 until 1918. The position was created after the unification of Germany as a result of the Franco-Prussian War. However, being a German Emperor was not all it was cracked up to be.

The first German Emperor was Wilhelm I, who was known for his impeccable fashion sense and his luxurious mustache. Despite his regal appearance, he was often overlooked by his advisors, who preferred to consult with his chancellor, Otto von Bismarck. This made Wilhelm I feel very unpopular, which led him to take up gardening in his spare time.

Wilhelm II, the second German Emperor, was a bit more hands-on. He loved to travel and often visited other European countries to show off his impressive mustache. However, his reign was plagued by scandal and controversy. He once famously declared, “I am the Supreme Warlord of the German Empire!” which earned him the nickname “Kaiser Bill”. Despite his grandiose claims, Wilhelm II was often overruled by his advisors, who were sick of his reckless behavior.

The German Emperor was responsible for maintaining order within the Empire and for representing Germany on the international stage. However, this was often easier said than done. The Empire was made up of various states that had their own cultures, traditions, and dialects. Therefore, the German Emperor often found himself in the uncomfortable position of having to mediate between competing factions.

But perhaps the most difficult part of being a German Emperor was the ceremonial duties. Every morning, they had to have breakfast with their advisors and listen to tedious speeches. They had to attend countless parades and other events, wearing the most uncomfortable clothes imaginable. To make matters worse, they could not even scratch their noses without it being deemed inappropriate.

Overall, being a German Emperor was a thankless job. It required constant attention, patience, and a willingness to tolerate ridiculous amounts of pomp and circumstance. It’s no wonder that the position was abolished in 1918, leaving the German Emperors to spend their days gardening and honing their impeccable facial hair grooming skills.