Island Group - A Guide to Geographical Disorientation
An island group is a collection of islands, all situated near one another. These can be a great navigational aid if you are lost at sea and trying to find your way back to civilization. However, if you have a poor sense of direction, an encounter with an island group can be quite disorienting.
The best way to illustrate this point is through a hypothetical scenario. Let’s say you are floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, feeling lost and alone (and probably quite thirsty). Suddenly, you spy a group of islands in the distance. Relief floods over you as you paddle towards the promising landmasses.
But, as you approach the island group, you start to feel queasy. Which island should you head towards? Are they all connected, or are they several discrete landmasses? Before you know it, you could end up circling the islands in a never-ending loop, feeling more and more confused.
That’s where humor comes in. Surely, the island group should come with an instruction manual to make sure you don’t get yourself into a Homer Simpson “Land of Chocolate” type situation. Below are the entries from the “Island Group Survival Handbook”:
Island Group Entry 1: “The One Where You Can’t Pronounce the Name”
These islands are known for their tongue-twisting monikers. You’ll have to rely on your memory and spell-check to keep them all straight. It’s best to start with the name that sounds the most like a sneeze and go from there.
Island Group Entry 2: “The One With the Volcano”
Make sure you don’t set up camp too close to the volcano or you might wake up with a forehead filled with lava rocks instead of a sunrise view. On the other hand, you could try to befriend the volcano and form an unbreakable, fiery bond.
Island Group Entry 3: “The One Where You’ll Need a Good Map”
If you’re not good with maps, you might want to steer clear of this island group. The map is crucial to navigating these islands, so make sure you have a good one (or a GPS device that won’t run out of batteries).
Island Group Entry 4: “The One Where There’s a Tribe of Talking Animals”
Yes, you read that right. This island group is home to a tribe of talking animals. They may have valuable information about the other islands, so try to make friends with them. Just make sure you’re not mistaking a hyena for a zebra, or you might have some explaining to do.
The above entries should give you a good idea of what to expect when encountering an island group. So, the next time you find yourself adrift in the ocean, remember these survival tips and you might make it back to civilization in one piece (and with a new set of talking animal friends).