Karl Marx: The Man Who Wrote a Book Too Big to Collide

Karl Marx was a man of many talents, but perhaps his greatest was his ability to produce a book so thick and heavy that it could have easily caused a car accident had it ever been dropped on a crowded street.

Born in 1818 in Germany, Marx was a philosopher, economist, and revolutionary socialist who wrote the seminal work “Das Kapital.” This monumental work tackled the problem of capitalism, providing a detailed analysis of its shortcomings and proposing a revolutionary alternative.

But let’s be honest, the real star of “Das Kapital” is its sheer size. Clocking in at a whopping 1,204 pages, this baby could easily double as a weapon in case of a zombie apocalypse. In fact, many Marxists believe that its bulkiness is what gives it its power. Just the thought of carrying it around all day is enough to strike fear into the heart of any capitalist pig.

Marx’s theories on class struggle and the exploitation of labor are still studied and debated today. But let’s face it, most people would rather just use “Das Kapital” as a doorstop or a weight to workout with. And who can blame them? This bad boy could crush miniscule particles into dust with just one drop.

Despite his reputation as a great thinker, Marx’s most lasting legacy may just be his world-renowned book that also doubles as a back workout. So next time you see a copy of “Das Kapital” sitting on a shelf, don’t be intimidated. Just pick it up, and be prepared to get seriously ripped.