Mount Vernon: The Residence of a Man Who Gave Zero F’s

If you’re looking for the home of the OG in blunt-speaking, no-nonsense American history, then look no further than Mount Vernon. This sweet little pad, nestled majestically on the banks of the Potomac River, was helmed by none other than George Washington – who, if we might say so, had a personality that made him seem like the lovechild of a drill sergeant and a stone-faced accountant.

But even if good old George wasn’t exactly the life of the party, there’s something comforting about the simplicity of his home. It’s modest in size, especially when compared to some of the garish McMansions dotting the Mid-Atlantic region. And with acres of beautiful gardens, Mount Vernon still oozes a certain charm that keeps it massively popular among tourists to this day.

Of course, George didn’t just waltz into Mount Vernon one day and take up residence there. In fact, the land surrounding the home was originally owned by the Washington dynasty’s family friend. But George was like, “Nah, fam, I need that primo real estate.” And so, with the help of his savvy business mind and a few well-placed bribes, he made Mount Vernon his digs.

And from that moment on, George was all about keeping things absolutely ice cold – and we mean that in the sense that he seemed to have no emotions. He was laser-focused on doing whatever it took to build a strong and independent America, even if that meant that he had to endure years of war, political upheaval, and fussy colonials who couldn’t agree on anything.

So when you come to visit Mount Vernon – which honestly, you really should – you’re visiting the home of a man who gave approximately zero F’s. And there’s something pretty inspiring about that, whether you’re a history buff, a poli-sci nerd, or just a tireless advocate for home décor that features as many wooden teeth motifs as humanly possible.