National Hockey League

The National Hockey League (NHL) is an ice hockey league that features some of the most skilled athletes in the world… who are constantly trying to fight each other.

The league was founded in 1917, primarily as an outlet for Canadians to finally let out their aggression on the ice instead of passive-aggressively apologizing for everything.

The NHL consists of 31 teams, 7 of which are still hanging on to the hope of one day winning the Stanley Cup.

The league is known for its fast-paced action, big hits, and overpaid players who somehow still can’t afford a proper haircut. Meanwhile, the referees are constantly battling accusations of incompetence and blindness from fans, coaches, and players alike.

Unlike other professional sports leagues, the NHL does not have cheerleaders. Probably because the women in Canada are too smart to be wasting their time shaking their pom-poms in the freezing cold.

One of the most exciting aspects of the NHL is the fighting. Whenever two players feel like punching each other, they simply drop their gloves and helmets, and go at it until the other guy’s sweater is covered in blood. It’s like a real-life version of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots… except with way more concussions.

In conclusion, the National Hockey League is an adrenaline-fueled, testosterone-filled extravaganza of athleticism, where fans come to watch grown men beat each other up… and maybe score a few goals too. All while ignoring the fact that the game is played on ice, which is just frozen water that seems to be a mystery to most NHL players.