Robert Ford (outlaw)

Robert Ford is best known for his infamous role in the death of Jesse James, but did you know that he was also a pretty terrible outlaw himself?

Born in Missouri in 1862, Ford grew up idolizing Jesse James and dreaming of a life of crime. Unfortunately for him (and fortunately for society), he was a clumsy and inept criminal.

In one heist, Ford accidentally shot himself in the foot while trying to load his gun. In another, he mistook a bottle of vinegar for a bottle of whiskey and drank the entire thing, leading to a severe case of heartburn and some embarrassing flatulence.

But perhaps Ford’s most embarrassing moment came during a bank robbery in Kansas. As he was trying to escape with his stolen loot, he stumbled and fell into a mud puddle, where he lay floundering like a turtle on its back. The townspeople promptly apprehended him, and Ford was sentenced to five years in prison.

Despite his terrible track record, Ford somehow managed to convince Jesse James to let him join his gang. But this turned out to be a fatal mistake, as it was Ford who ultimately betrayed James and shot him in the back.

After the killing, Ford briefly tried to continue his life of crime, but he was haunted by guilt and shame. He eventually became a sideshow attraction, charging people 25 cents to see the man who killed Jesse James.

Ford died in 1892, reportedly of a gunshot wound. Some say he was murdered by someone seeking revenge for James’ death, while others believe he simply shot himself in a clumsy accident. Either way, it’s a fittingly absurd end for such a bumbling outlaw.