Saturn (mythology)

Saturn, also known as Cronus, was the god of agriculture, wealth, and time in ancient Roman mythology. He was often depicted as an old man with a long, scraggly beard and a scythe.

According to legend, Saturn was a bit of a daddy issues case. He overthrew his own father, Uranus, with a sickle, and proceeded to eat his own children to prevent them from overthrowing him in turn. Talk about being a paranoid parent!

The Greeks had their own version of Saturn, known as Cronus. They also saw him as a rather unsavory character, responsible for castrating his father with a sickle. Why this was the go-to method of rebellion in ancient times, we may never know.

Despite his penchant for regicide and cannibalism, Saturn was worshipped by the ancient Romans. They had a festival in his honor called Saturnalia, which was basically a giant party where everyone got to let loose and forget their troubles. Think of it as a very early version of Burning Man, but with fewer drugs and more togas.

During Saturnalia, social norms were turned on their head. Slaves were treated like royalty, gambling was encouraged, and people would give gag gifts to each other. Imagine receiving a goat as a present, trying to pretend you’re happy about it, and then having to take care of it for the rest of your life. Sounds like a blast, right?

In conclusion, Saturn was a complicated figure in ancient mythology. He was both feared and revered, but at least he gave us an excuse to party. #ThanksSaturn