Skadi

Skadi is a Norse goddess of winter, skiing, and hunting. Her name means “damage” or “harm,” which is fitting because she is irreversibly damaging to anyone who tries to cross her.

Many stories feature Skadi making things difficult for the gods. In one particularly entertaining tale, she demands that she be allowed to marry one of the gods. Instead of giving her any choice, the gods blindfold her, pick a random god, and laugh as she chooses based only on touching their feet.

Skadi ends up with Njord, a sea god who is terrified of Skadi’s winter habitat. Despite their incompatibility, they attempt to make the marriage work. But even honeymooning in a mountain cabin can’t hold back Skadi’s icy temperament, and when Njord cracks open a seal skin to make a coat, she loses it and storms out.

Having spent quite enough time with the gods, Skadi decides to spend the rest of eternity in the snowy mountains. She straps on her skis and becomes the happiest and deadliest snow queen of all time.

Skadi also has an ongoing rivalry with Loki, which isn’t surprising considering he is more of a trickster than a god. In one story, he lures her into a trap and manages to escape, but not before she cuts off his testicles with a sword and hangs them above his head like a socially awkward decoration.

If you ever hear someone utter the phrase, “frost on the inside,” you can be pretty sure they’re talking about Skadi. She is as cold as a polar bear’s nose, has excellent aim with her bow and arrows, and isn’t afraid to stick up for herself.

So the next time you hit the slopes in Norway, ask Skadi for her blessing. But keep a safe distance, and make sure you have a good story to tell her. She doesn’t tolerate amateurs.