Thanksgiving Day (United States)

Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday observed annually in the United States on the fourth Thursday of November, where families gather around the table to argue politics and awkwardly avoid discussing uncle Larry’s ill-advised haircut.

Historically, it was celebrated to give thanks for the blessings of the harvest and the preceding year. Today, it’s mostly an excuse to stuff your face with turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie.

The day starts with a parade, because apparently, people need to see giant helium balloons of cartoon characters floating down city streets in order to feel grateful. Then comes the main event– the Thanksgiving feast. Turkey is the star of the show, which is strange because it’s really just a dry bird that’s impossible to cook properly.

The meal is usually accompanied by cranberry sauce, which is essentially a gelatinous substance that’s trying to pass as a condiment. And let’s not forget about the stuffing– a strange, bread-based concoction that people either love or hate.

After the meal, everyone slips into a food coma that lasts until the following day, where they frantically search for Black Friday deals and question the meaning of their existence.

In summary, Thanksgiving Day is a holiday that celebrates gratitude, but also serves as a reminder of the struggles of cooking a massive meal and forced family bonding. It’s a time to reflect on your blessings and be thankful for your loved ones, even if they annoy you to no end. Happy Thanksgiving!