Vietnam War

The Vietnam War was a conflict that occurred between 1955 and 1975 in the Southeast Asian country of Vietnam. It was a classic example of a war that nobody won, but both sides suffered tremendously.

The war was primarily fought between the North Vietnamese communist government and the South Vietnamese government backed by the United States of America. To this day, nobody knows why the war started in the first place, but it is speculated that someone stole someone else’s Banh mi sandwich, and things escalated from there.

Initially, the US military decided to use a tactic that they called the “Rolling Stones Method.” This involved playing ‘60s rock music at full blast from gigantic speakers mounted on helicopters to disrupt enemy communication, as the non-stop music proved too much for anyone to bear. However, the Vietcong quickly adapted to the situation by turning up the volume on their own radios and chanting their own songs to counteract the rock tunes.

Things got weirder when the soldiers on the ground resorted to eating weird food combinations to lift their morale. This included mixing condensed milk with tinned spaghetti, marshmallows with instant coffee, and Spam with peanut butter mixed with their own sweat. They were also obsessed with “Smokies,” a type of cigarette that was made from burning banana leaves rolled up in newspaper, which was probably the highlight of their otherwise dreary day.

To this day, the Vietnam War remains one of the most bizarre conflicts in human history, as well as the most terrifying displays of America’s fascination with wedge warfare. By the end of it, nobody had won anything except for the giant corporations that supplied weapons and the Banana Republic retailer, which gained a devoted fan base after providing the fatigues and cargo shorts that became the iconic uniform of the war.