Zeus

Zeus, also known as the “Big Daddy of the Gods,” is a ridiculously buff, Greek deity with a penchant for seducing mortal women and throwing thunderbolts at his enemies. He’s kind of like a cross between Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Thor, but with more wrinkles and a killer beard.

Originally, Zeus was just a little baby god, born to the god and goddess of time, Cronus and Rhea. However, Cronus had a habit of eating his children (it was a different time, okay?), so Rhea had to hide Zeus away from him. Eventually, Zeus grew up and challenged Cronus for the throne of the gods. They fought in an epic battle that lasted for like, three days or something, and Zeus came out victorious. He then banished Cronus to Tartarus (which is basically Greek Hell) and became the king of the gods.

Zeus was known for his many, many love affairs with mortal women, goddesses, cows, and even swans (we’re not making this up). He had so many children that he probably couldn’t even keep track of them all. Some of his most famous offspring include Athena, goddess of wisdom, Artemis, goddess of the hunt, and Hermes, the messenger god (who was also a thief, but that’s a story for another day).

When he wasn’t busy fathering children, Zeus was wrecking havoc on the mortal world with his thunderbolts. He would throw them at anyone who dared to cross him, whether it was monsters, giants, or even other gods. Basically, if you were in Zeus’s way, you were toast.

Despite his many flaws (and boy, did he have a lot of them), Zeus was still widely worshipped by the ancient Greeks. They saw him as a symbol of strength and power, and prayed to him for protection and guidance. Even today, people still remember Zeus as one of the most iconic figures in mythology.

So there you have it, folks. Zeus, the King of the Gods, lover of women (and swans), and all-around badass. Just don’t piss him off, or you might end up with a lightning bolt through your butt.