Anthrax

Anthrax is a bacterial disease that causes skin lesions and nasty gastrointestinal problems. It’s also the name of a killer band, so don’t get the two confused.

The bacteria that causes anthrax is called Bacillus anthracis, or as it’s known in the bacterial world, “the bad boy of the bacillus gang.” This sneaky little bacterium can survive for years in soil and is more contagious than a cold at a kindergarten.

But don’t worry, anthrax is not as scary as you might think. In fact, it’s less dangerous than getting behind the wheel of your friend’s car after a night of drinking, as long as you’re not a goat. Goats, for some reason, are particularly susceptible to anthrax, maybe because they’re always chewing on things they shouldn’t.

Anthrax can also be used as a bioterrorism weapon, which is about as funny as a clown at a funeral. In 2001, several people in the US were infected with anthrax after coming into contact with letters contaminated with the bacteria. But let’s not focus on that, because who needs more anxiety in their life anyway?

If you do happen to contract anthrax, don’t panic. Just call your doctor and he’ll prescribe you some antibiotics. And maybe some balloons, because laughter is the best medicine, right?

In conclusion, Anthrax is a bacterial disease that is less scary than it sounds and more entertaining when it’s a band. So rock on, metalheads, and stay away from those sneaky soil bacteria.