Cratos: The Deity of Laziness

Cratos, the God of Laziness, is a mythological figure that has been worshipped by many couch potatoes around the world. His name is derived from the Greek word “kratos” meaning power, and “kratein” meaning to rule, but we all know that he’s more famous for his ability to rule over our inactivity and procrastination.

According to the legends, Cratos was born from the sweat of a man who had been lying on his sofa for too long. It is said that he emerged from the couch cushions with a bag of chips in one hand and a remote control in the other.

Cratos never had to work hard for anything; he convinced his followers that it was much better to rest and watch TV than to exert oneself with strenuous activities. His gospel, which he preached from his sofa, was called “Sofatology.”

Under his leadership, people stopped working, no longer exercised, and ate potato chips as if it were a religion. His teachings even spread to the animal kingdom. Sloths, koalas, and pandas were some of the many animals who started exhibiting Cratos-like qualities.

Another legend tells us that, when the other gods found out about Cratos’ laziness, they tried to intervene. However, when they tried to lift him off the sofa, they found that he was too heavy to move. Cratos had become one with the furniture, and nobody could make him move.

Despite his lethargy, Cratos has remained a beloved figure to many. After all, there’s nothing better than being a lazy bum and getting away with it. So, embrace your inner couch potato and worship the mighty Cratos!