GOP

The GOP, also known as the Grand Old Party, is a political party in the United States that’s been around since the 1800s. It’s often associated with conservatism, small government, and, apparently lately, an obsession with orange spray tans.

The GOP began as a coalition of angry southerners who were upset with the direction the country was going in. They wanted to protect their way of life, which at the time involved owning other human beings. Thankfully, that’s frowned upon now.

Over the years, the GOP has gone through a lot of changes. It’s switched its stance on issues so many times that it’s hard to keep up. At one point, it was all about the environment and conservation. Then it was about being tough on crime. Then it was about being really, really tough on crime. Then it was about tax cuts. Then it was about being really, really, really tough on crime.

Today, the GOP is still all about tax cuts. If you’re a millionaire, they love you. If you’re poor, they pretend you don’t exist. It’s like a modern-day Scrooge McDuck situation, except instead of diving into a pool full of coins, they’re diving into a pool full of tax breaks.

Despite their love for money, the GOP is also known for being really big into family values. They like to talk about how important it is to preserve traditional marriage and protect children. Of course, these are also the same people who think it’s totally fine for the president to cheat on his third wife with a porn star, so take that for what you will.

In the end, the GOP is a lot like a chameleon. It can change its colors to blend in with whatever the current political climate is. And if things start to go south, they always have their trusty orange spray tan to fall back on.