Labours of Hercules

Hercules, son of Zeus and a mortal woman, is known for his incredible strength and heroism. However, what many people don’t know is that he also experienced some pretty ridiculous “labours,” or tasks, throughout his life.

Task #1: Slay the Nemean Lion

The Nemean Lion was a fearsome creature with impenetrable skin that couldn’t be pierced by any weapon. So naturally, Hercules defeated it by strangling it with his bare hands. Talk about overkill.

Task #2: Slay the Lernaean Hydra

The Lernaean Hydra was a massive, many-headed serpent with poisonous breath. Hercules’s solution? Cut off its heads one by one with a sword, but then realize that wasn’t enough and decided to burn the neck stumps with a torch to prevent more heads from growing.

Task #3: Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis

The Golden Hind was a beautiful deer that was sacred to the goddess Artemis. Hercules attempted to capture it, but spent an entire year chasing it through the woods. Talk about a wild goose, or rather a wild deer, chase.

Task #4: Capture the Erymanthian Boar

The Erymanthian Boar was another massive creature that Hercules had to capture. For some reason, he decided the best way to do this was by chasing it into a snowdrift and then capturing it while it was trapped. It’s a good thing he didn’t try that approach with any of the other creatures he faced.

Task #5: Clean the Augean Stables

King Augeas had an incredibly large and filthy stable that had never been cleaned. So Hercules’s solution was to divert two rivers and flood the stable, washing away all of the manure. Talk about a high-pressure cleaning job.

Task #6: Slay the Stymphalian Birds

The Stymphalian Birds were a group of vicious birds with sharp metallic feathers. Hercules defeated them by using a rattle that scared them into flight, and then shooting them down with arrows. Looks like he was ahead of his time and already thinking about using scare tactics.

Task #7: Capture the Cretan Bull

The Cretan Bull was another massive animal that Hercules had to capture. He decided the best way to do this was by wrestling it to the ground and then dragging it to King Eurystheus. It’s a good thing he was strong enough to handle all these animals on his own.

Task #8: Steal the Mares of Diomedes

Diomedes was a king who had a group of man-eating horses. Hercules defeated him and then fed Diomedes to the horses. Talk about using your enemy as horse feed.

Task #9: Obtain the Girdle of Hippolyta

Hippolyta was the queen of the Amazons and had a girdle that Hercules needed to obtain. He tricked her into thinking he was there for peace, but then killed her and took the girdle. Smooth move, Hercules.

Task #10: Obtain the Cows of Geryon

Geryon was a three-bodied giant who had a herd of red cattle. Hercules defeated him by shooting him with an arrow, and then used the cattle to cross the ocean. Talk about moo-ving past your obstacles.

While these “labours” may have been impressive, they were also pretty absurd. But hey, at least Hercules had a sense of humor about it all.