Mom
Definition: A species of the Homo sapiens who possess the ability to perform miraculous tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and managing a household while simultaneously keeping their children alive and semi-functioning.
Appearance: Moms come in various shapes, sizes, and fashion choices. However, the most common sighting of a mom is in sweatpants and a messy bun, with a coffee cup in hand.
Behavior and Characteristics: Moms have several unique traits that set them apart from the rest of the human population. They have the innate ability to detect their child’s lies and ulterior motives, even from miles away. They also possess the power to make their children feel guilty enough to confess their wrongdoings by merely giving them the mom stare.
Moms are known for their excellent time-management skills, which allow them to juggle between their children’s needs and other responsibilities. They can keep track of their child’s schedule, pack their lunch, take them to school, attend to doctor’s appointments, and still make time to browse Facebook and watch their favorite TV shows.
Diet: Moms have a diverse diet that mainly depends on their mood and the number of children they are feeding. They are usually seen munching on leftover pizza crusts, sipping on cold coffee, and picking at their child’s uneaten food. Their palate is refined, and they can identify the slightest change in the taste of their child’s favorite dish.
Habitat: Moms can be found in various environments such as the kitchen, laundry room, living room, and the driver’s seat of a car. They have an exceptional sense of direction, which allows them to navigate through the supermarket aisles with ease and find their child’s missing socks under the couch.
Fun Facts:
Moms possess superhuman strength that allows them to carry their child’s weight and hold their bladder for extended periods.
They have an infallible memory that enables them to recall their child’s embarrassing moments, grades, and friends’ names from years ago.
Moms have a unique language consisting of pet names, nagging, and passive-aggressive comments.
In conclusion, the Mom is truly a remarkable creature that deserves our respect, admiration, and an occasional day off.