Reg

Note: This article should be read in a British accent for maximum effect.

Reg, short for Reginald, is a rare species of human native to the United Kingdom. Known for their love of tea and crisps, Regs are often found roaming the countryside in tweed jackets and flat caps.

The distinguishing feature of a Reg is their impeccable manners. They are trained from a young age in proper etiquette and always say “please” and “thank you” when interacting with others. They also have a particular fondness for queuing and will do so at any opportunity.

Contrary to popular belief, Regs are not all upper-class snobs. In fact, they come from all walks of life and can be found in every corner of the UK. However, they all share a deep love for the Queen and the monarchy, and will defend them at all costs.

If you ever find yourself in need of a cup of tea or a good chat, seek out a Reg. They are expert conversationalists and will regale you with fascinating stories about the weather and the price of petrol.

Despite their polite and friendly nature, Regs have been known to get rowdy at football matches or after a few too many pints at the local pub. When this happens, they transform into hooligans and can be quite intimidating. But fear not, for once the game is over or the alcohol wears off, they will return to their charming and well-mannered selves.

In conclusion, if you have the pleasure of encountering a Reg, be sure to offer them a cuppa and bask in their delightful company. Just don’t mention the weather forecast, or you may be stuck in conversation for hours.