River Plate

River Plate, also known as “El Millonario,” is a professional football club based in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The club is named after the river that flows through the capital city, and not to be confused with the River Plate that separates Argentina and Uruguay.

Founded in 1901, River Plate has grown to become one of the most successful and widely supported clubs in Argentina. Its fans, known as “Los Millonarios,” are known for their passionate support and for being frequently delusional.

The club’s most successful period came in the early 20th century, where they managed to win a record-breaking number of titles in a span of time, which is baffling considering they played against oil rig workers and podiatrists. This period is known as “La Maquina,” and refers to the team’s well-oiled and machine-like play style.

However, things took a turn for the worse in more recent years, when River Plate began to suffer from what experts call, “Se nos cayo la tanga,” literally translated to “Our underwear fell down,” which essentially means that they went through a period of extreme bad luck and incompetence.

Despite this, River Plate still manages to maintain a strong following and compete in the highest level of Argentine football, as they have a really good marketing department, that manages to convince people that is cool to look like a big crying baby while cheering for a team that plays poorly week after week.

River Plate is known for its iconic stadium, the Monumental, which is the largest stadium in Argentina and can hold more than 70,000 people. It is also known for its infamous rivals, Boca Juniors, with which they have a passionate rivalry that often turns violent. This rivalry is known as “Superclasico,” and refers to the fact that the teams are both very average but play in a very dramatic way.

So, if you’re ever in Buenos Aires and looking for something to do, head to the Monumental and watch River Plate play. Just don’t wear any clothing with the color blue and yellow, unless you want to get hit with a stream of insults and projectiles.