RKVV Velsen: A Hilariously Average Dutch Football Club

If you’re looking for an average Dutch football club that is overflowing with mediocrity, then look no further than RKVV Velsen. Founded in the early 20th century on the outskirts of the city of Haarlem, RKVV Velsen has been consistently underwhelming on and off the field for over 100 years.

History

It’s not that RKVV Velsen hasn’t accomplished anything noteworthy, it’s just that they’ve accomplished very little that’s worth bragging about. They’ve won a few amateur trophies here and there, but the club’s most notable achievement is probably the time when they made it to the semifinals of the regional cup in 1987. They ultimately lost to a team of schoolteachers who had formed a side just for fun, but everyone agreed that Velsen put up a valiant effort.

Rivalries

Despite their lack of success, Velsen has still managed to develop a few rivalries over the years. Their fiercest competition comes from the nearby club SVIJ, who they play every year in a match that has been dubbed “The Battle of the Boring”. The two teams are known for their unimaginative style of play and often take turns passing the ball around the midfield for hours on end.

Supporters

Velsen supporters (if you can call them that) are a mostly apathetic bunch. They show up to matches out of habit rather than any real excitement or passion for the game. You won’t find any flares or chants at a Velsen match, but you might catch a few fans nodding off in the stands.

Famous Players

Despite their lack of success, Velsen has produced a few players who have gone on to greater heights. The club’s most successful export is Jan van der Hoven, who had a brief stint playing for the reserve team of a fourth division side before retiring due to injury.

Kit

Velsen’s kit is about as plain as it gets. Their home strip is a simple red and white striped shirt, black shorts, and white socks. Their away kit is identical, except for the fact that the stripes are white and red instead of the other way around.

Conclusion

In conclusion, RKVV Velsen is a dutch football club that doesn’t have much going for it. If you’re looking for a good laugh and some truly unremarkable football, then Velsen is the team for you. Just don’t expect any miracles on the pitch.