Shirt

A shirt is a garment primarily worn on the upper body that has the unique ability to simultaneously make you look put-together and make you feel like you’re being strangled by a small, polyester noose.

There are many types of shirts out there, each with their own special charms and annoyances. For example, the polo shirt is a popular choice among dads everywhere. With its conveniently placed buttons and preppy collar, it’s perfect for a day spent grilling burgers and making puns about the latest golf scores. However, beware the “crocodile” logo, as it has been known to attract predators such as wealthy businessmen and pretentious hipsters.

The dress shirt is another classic choice, favored by office workers and those who have convinced themselves that wearing a tie is somehow a good idea. While the crisp, clean appearance of a freshly ironed dress shirt may be appealing, it’s important to remember that these shirts also have the ability to absorb every drop of sweat from your armpits, leaving you looking like you just ran a marathon through a tropical rainforest.

The t-shirt, on the other hand, is a more casual option beloved by college students and those who wish they were still college students. Its soft cotton material and lack of buttons make it a comfortable choice for lounging and pizza-eating alike. However, the t-shirt also has a dark side - it is often used to express less-than-intelligent opinions, display graphic images of cartoon characters doing unspeakable things, or simply act as a billboard for some guy named “Chad” who thinks he’s a DJ.

Overall, the shirt is an essential component of anyone’s wardrobe - unless you’re a nudist, in which case it’s probably not your cup of tea. So go forth and don your favorite shirt, whether it be plaid, striped, or covered in sequins. Just be prepared for the inevitable comments from your friends and family about the “interesting” fashion choice you’ve made.