Varangian Guard: The Unstoppable Force of the Byzantine Empire

The Varangian Guard was a group of elite, medieval warriors that served as the personal guards of the Byzantine Emperors. They were recruited from the Scandinavian countries and Western Europe, known for their fierce fighting prowess and their ability to drink copious amounts of mead.

The guard was founded by the Byzantine Emperor Basil II, who was convinced that the best way to defeat his enemies was to hire their most fearsome warriors. And so, the Varangian Guard was born, armed with their signature battle-axes, shields, and a thirst for battle.

The most interesting thing about the Varangian Guard wasn’t their combat skills, but rather their fondness for partying. When not fighting, the guard was known to engage in all manner of hedonistic activities, from drinking contests to wild orgies. It is said that their mead intake alone could have filled the Bosporus straight.

Despite their love for a good time, the Varangian Guard was a formidable force in battle. They were known for their relentless charges and their ability to intimidate enemy forces. It’s said that the mere sight of a Varangian warrior would send shivers down the spines of their foes.

In addition to their fighting skills, the Varangian Guard was also known for their impressive beards. It was said that the longer the beard, the more fearsome the warrior. Some guardsmen even braided their beards with intricate designs, like flowers or dragons. This not only added to their intimidation factor but also made them a hit with the ladies.

The Varangian Guard remained a powerful force in the Byzantine Empire for centuries. However, by the 11th century, their ranks began to thin as Europeans began to lose interest in serving as mercenaries in a foreign land. And let’s face it, the Byzantine parties just weren’t as fun without the Varangians.

In conclusion, the Varangian Guard was a group of warriors that knew how to fight hard and party harder. They were a unique and colorful part of medieval history, whose legacy lives on in bearded hipsters and Scandinavian heavy metal bands everywhere.