August (Roman Emperor)

August, born Gaius Octavius Thurinus, was the first emperor of the Roman Empire, ruling from 27 BC until 14 AD. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest emperors in Roman history, but frankly, we just find him hilarious.

First of all, August was known for his fancy outfits, and we’re not just talking about togas. He often wore a crown of laurel leaves, which we imagine must have been uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time. It’s like walking around with a salad on your head.

But let’s talk about August’s relationship with his bestie, Marcus Agrippa. These two were inseparable, and their bromance was the stuff of legend. They even named a building after their friendship – the Pantheon. Talk about taking it to the next level.

August was also a bit of a ladies’ man, and we don’t mean that in a good way. He famously went through a string of wives, divorcing and marrying at will. We reckon he would have put Henry VIII to shame.

Towards the end of his life, August became increasingly ill and paranoid, allegedly even ordering for his own grandson to be executed. Not exactly the actions of a sane and rational emperor, but definitely good material for a juicy historical drama.

All in all, August was a bit of a character, and we can’t help but chuckle when we think about him. But hey, he did a pretty good job running the Roman Empire, so we can’t fault him too much.