List of Fruits: A Hilarious Encyclopedia

Fruits are nature’s way of saying “Hey, you gotta eat healthy too, buddy!” These delicious edibles come in all shapes, sizes, and tastes, and make for great snacks, desserts or even gossip fodder (ever heard of people calling someone an “apple” behind their back?). Here’s a humorous take on some of the best-known fruits out there.

Apple

Crispy goodness in a roundish shape is what makes apples an all-time favorite. Say what you will about the other fruits, but the apple definitely has the best PR team out there. After all, when was the last time someone was called a “passion fruit”? Despite centuries of human love for apples, recent research shows that they might actually be responsible for the popular saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away… if you throw it hard enough.”

Banana

This yellow, peelable fruit is a popular option for pranksters. After all, what’s funnier than slipping on a banana peel and falling on your butt? It’s also a great way to get potassium, make smoothies, or find out which of your friends have a dirty mind (seriously, why else would they always make the same jokes about bananas?).

Citrus

Citrus fruits include everything from lemons, to oranges, to grapefruits. They are a great source of Vitamin C, and can make even the most boring glass of water taste refreshing (okay, maybe not grapefruit). Some people even go on really weird detox diets where they drink nothing but lemon juice mixed with cayenne pepper and maple syrup. We do NOT recommend that.

Mango

This tropical fruit is known for its bright yellow flesh and delicious taste. Mangos have been known to make people spontaneously burst into song, dance, or even fly off to the Caribbean in search of more mangos. In some cultures, they are also believed to bring good luck and fertility, so if you’re feeling lucky or if you’re trying to have a baby, buy yourself a mango today!

Pineapple

If you’re ever feeling down or lonely, grab a pineapple and be instantly reminded that life is full of surprises. After all, who would have thought that such a prickly, tough-looking fruit would have a heart of gold? Pineapples can be eaten fresh or cooked, and are guaranteed to make any dish look more festive. Plus, their leaves can be used to make a great tropical hat in a pinch!

Watermelon

Watermelons are the summer fruit of choice for many people. They are best enjoyed outdoors, sitting on a grassy patch, and spitting seeds like a pro. Watermelons are mostly water, but their sweet taste makes them a hit with kids and adults alike. They are also great for staying hydrated, since who wants to drink boring old water when you can have it in a fruit?

Conclusion

In conclusion, fruits are a fabulous addition to anyone’s diet. They provide essential vitamins and minerals, as well as a daily source of humor and entertainment. So if you’re ever feeling blue and in need of a laugh, just turn to your friendly neighborhood fruit lady or fruit man, and say: “What’s the deal with passion fruits, anyway?” You might be surprised what kind of juicy secrets they might tell you!