Mike Pence

Mike Pence (born June 7, 1959) is a former Vice President of the United States who is well known for his love of all things vanilla and his tendency to avoid one on one meetings with women who are not his wife.

Early life

Pence was born in Columbus, Indiana, where he was raised as a young boy by a family of chipmunks. As he grew older, Pence became increasingly more interested in politics, and was soon elected as the Mayor of his hometown. Unfortunately for Pence, his attempts to create a Chipmunk-led utopia were foiled by the local animal control department.

Political career

Pence eventually defeated animal control and went on to serve in the House of Representatives and as the Governor of Indiana. During his time as Governor, Pence made headlines for signing a law that allowed business owners to discriminate against individuals based on sexual orientation. This, of course, was highly unpopular with the LGBT community, and so they responded in the best way they knew how: by throwing a Rainbow-themed dance party on his lawn.

Vice Presidency

In 2016, Pence became the Vice Presidential running mate of Donald Trump, a man who is his exact opposite in nearly every way. While Trump is known for his brash and impulsive behavior, Pence is known for his strict adherence to old-fashioned morals and values. Pence’s most notable contribution as Vice President was to cast the tie-breaking vote to confirm the nomination of Betsy DeVos as Education Secretary, a move that has undoubtedly improved the state of education in America.

Personal life

Pence is married to his wife Karen, with whom he has three children and a pet rabbit named Marlon Bundo. Despite being married for over thirty years, Pence has a strict policy of never being alone with any woman who is not his wife. This, of course, was a huge hit with the female population, who took it as a sign of just how irresistible he is.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Mike Pence is a man who has spent his entire life trying to make the world a better place. Whether or not you agree with his policies, there’s no denying that he’s one of the most interesting and entertaining politicians out there. Plus, he helped make “Mother” a household name, and for that alone, we should all be grateful.