Monopoly (game): A Never-Ending Game of Capitalism

Monopoly is a board game that has been delighting families and estranging friends since 1935. It was created by Parker Brothers, which was later acquired by Hasbro, who then set out to ruin even more childhoods with their terrible movie adaptations.

The game is designed to glorify the virtues of capitalism by emulating the cutthroat world of real estate. Players are tasked with buying, selling and developing properties and collecting rent from their opponents, all while trying to avoid going bankrupt.

The game features an array of whimsical properties such as Boardwalk, Park Place, and Marvin Gardens, which are so outrageously expensive that they’re only affordable in monopoly money. The game also has comical Chance and Community Chest cards, which offer players a wide range of rewards and punishments, but mostly punishments.

Monopoly is famous for its intricate rules, which are almost as convoluted as the US tax code. It requires players to calculate rental rates, mortgage fees, utility bills, income taxes, and several other expenses, all while trying to remember what a thimble does.

Players can also land on Jail, which is the one place in the game where they can have some peace and quiet from their all-too-competitive family and friends. Jail time is usually short-lived, and players can often bribe their way out with a get-out-of-jail-free card, which is the game’s tribute to white-collar crime.

The game’s main flaw is that it can go on for hours, even days. Players tend to get bogged down in negotiations, dice rolling, and petty arguments over who gets to be the coveted boot token. In fact, Monopoly has been used as a torture method by the CIA for years, with many a terrorist confessing to crimes after just a few hours of playing the game.

In summary, Monopoly is a game of greed, deception, and endless frustration. It’s a perfect reflection of the real world of business, where the rich get richer and the poor stay poor. So, why not gather your family and friends for a game of Monopoly and see who has what it takes to become the next real estate tycoon? Just be prepared for lots of arguments and maybe even a monopoli-meltdown.