Non-Spectral Color: An Endangered Species

If you’ve ever seen a rainbow, you know that colors can be sorted into seven spectral colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. These colors are pure and unadulterated, and they can only be produced by a single wavelength of light. But what about every other color that exists in our world? Are they truly pure as well? The answer is no. These other colors, called Non-Spectral Colors, are comprised of multiple wavelengths of light, making them impure imposters of the beautiful, majestic Spectral Colors.

Non-Spectral Colors are created by our brains trying to pick out an average wavelength among the multiple wavelengths it is receiving. It’s like trying to pick out a melody from a symphony. It’s not quite there. It’s an approximation that should be shunned and ridiculed.

Some examples of Non-Spectral Colors include brown, magenta, and pink. Brown is a mixture of red, yellow, and blue, and it’s often associated with mud, feces, or the neighbor’s dog’s slobber. Magenta is a blend of blue and red, creating a disturbing, sickly pink color that no one wants to look at, let alone wear. And pink? No one knows how it’s made, but according to legend, it’s created by mixing unicorn tears with angel feathers.

Non-Spectral Colors are an endangered species, as they are being relentlessly hunted down by the Spectral Color Guardians. These Guardians are a group of color purists who insist that only the purest colors should exist in our world. They have already eradicated some Non-Spectral Colors, like olive green and burnt orange, and they won’t stop until every last one is gone.

So, the next time you see a brown bear or a magenta flower, take a moment to mourn the loss of pure colors in our world. And remember, Spectral Colors are the only colors that matter.