Statistics

Statistics: a field of study that involves the collection, analysis, and interpretation of data. Or, in simpler terms, a method for making up numbers to suit your needs.

History

Statistics has been around for centuries, with the ancient Greeks using it to count things like the number of olive trees in their orchards. But it wasn’t until the 18th century that statistics really took off, thanks in large part to the invention of the pie chart (which was quickly followed by the pie eating contest).

Uses

Statistics has countless applications, from predicting election outcomes to determining the best flavor of ice cream (hint: it’s always chocolate chip cookie dough). But perhaps the most important use of statistics is making yourself sound smarter than you actually are. For instance:

“According to my calculations, there’s a 97.2% chance that I’m right.”
“Based on my analysis of the data, we should definitely go with option B.”
“Statistically speaking, you’re more likely to win the lottery if you buy a ticket.”

Common Terms

If you’re going to fake your way through a conversation about statistics, it’s important to know some of the key terms. Here are a few to get you started:

Mean: The average of a set of numbers. Or, if you’re feeling nasty, a way to describe someone who’s just not very nice.
Standard Deviation: A measure of how spread out a set of data is. Or, if you’re feeling really mean, a way to describe someone who’s just plain weird.
Confidence Interval: A way of expressing how sure you are about a particular result. Or, if you’re feeling particularly confident, a way of telling your boss to shove it.

Famous Statisticians

No encyclopedia entry on statistics would be complete without mentioning some of the greats in the field:

Carl Friedrich Gauss: Considered by many to be the greatest mathematician of all time, Gauss was also a pioneer in the field of statistics.
Florence Nightingale: Best known for her work as a nurse during the Crimean War, Nightingale was also a pioneer in the use of statistics in public health.
Nate Silver: The founder of the website FiveThirtyEight, Silver is known for his accurate predictions of political elections. Or, if you’re a conspiracy theorist, he’s known for being part of the Illuminati.

Conclusion