British Monarchs: A Comedic Overview

For centuries, the British monarchy has been a source of fascination (and often frustration) for the people of the United Kingdom and beyond. From Henry VIII’s many marriages to Queen Elizabeth II’s unrelenting wave, the history of British monarchs is full of both triumph and absurdity. Let’s take a whimsical look at some of the most notable monarchs to ever wear a crown.

William the Conqueror

First on our list is William the Conqueror, or as he was probably known to his friends, “Bill the Bastard.” This Norman king famously invaded England in 1066 and became the first Norman king of England. It’s said that William was so bulky and overweight that he couldn’t ride a horse, and had to be hoisted onto his trusty steed by a team of soldiers. Despite his girth, William was a savvy monarch who even commissioned the famous Bayeux Tapestry to commemorate his successful invasion.

Henry VIII

Next up is arguably the most iconic British monarch of all time, Henry VIII. This king had a lot going on—six wives, a penchant for beheading anyone who crossed him, and a body mass index that would make even William the Conqueror blush. If Henry VIII were alive today, he’d probably be the star of his own reality TV show, with each episode centering on a new marital disaster or culinary adventure. We can only imagine the shenanigans Henry would get up to on Instagram.

George III

Now we skip ahead a few centuries to George III, who is perhaps best known for going, well, a bit mad. This king’s mental health struggles were no laughing matter, but it is pretty hilarious to think that a monarch could once run around the palace talking to trees and thinking he was made of glass. In fact, George III’s nickname was “The Mad King,” which gives him a certain rock star quality. We like to imagine George III touring the country with his own psychedelic band, playing hits like “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Yellow Submarine.”

Queen Victoria

Last but certainly not least, we have Queen Victoria. This monarch reigned for an impressive 63 years, which is basically the equivalent of being the Beyonce of British monarchs. Queen Victoria is also known for her exceedingly serious demeanor, which makes it all the more hilarious to imagine her dabbing or doing the floss dance. We can only assume that if Queen Victoria had been born in the 21st century, she would have her own TikTok channel where she lip syncs to Ariana Grande and posts inspirational quotes about feminism.

In conclusion, while British monarchs have been responsible for some incredible achievements over the centuries, it’s their quirks and oddities that make them so enduringly fascinating. From a king who thought he was made of glass to a queen who reigns supreme on TikTok, the British monarchy will always be a source of amusement, entertainment, and the occasional eye roll. Long may they wave!