Mumps

Mumps is a viral infection that mostly affects children and makes their faces resemble that of a hamster’s. Belonging to the “I-don’t-want-to-get-this-but-did-anyway” family of infections, it is rarely fatal but serves as the perfect excuse for staying out of school and getting pampered with extra attention.

While most children unknowingly contract mumps, there are some who relish the opportunity to spread the infection to their friends and family. These “culinary ambassadors” of mumps are often seen licking lollipops and sharing drinks with their peers, much to the chagrin of their parents and teachers.

The symptoms of mumps include painful swelling of the salivary glands, fever, headache, and a general feeling of being punched in the face. While these symptoms may seem like a punishment from the gods for not finishing your veggies, they are nothing a little bedrest and a lot of snuggles cannot fix.

In rare cases, complications from mumps can occur, such as inflammation of the brain, meningitis or deafness. However, these occurrences are about as rare as finding a unicorn riding a pogo stick.

The best way to prevent mumps is to get vaccinated. However, if you choose to live life on the edge and skip the vaccine, make sure you have plenty of ice cream and feel-good movies on hand to help you through the “hamster face” phase.

In conclusion, while mumps may not be the most desirable of infections, it certainly has its perks. So go ahead, enjoy your time off from school and cherish the extra cuddles from your loved ones. Just remember not to share that lollipop with anyone.