Beatrix of the Netherlands

Beatrix of the Netherlands, also known as Queen Beatrix, is the mother of King Willem-Alexander and grandmother to the beloved Princesses Amalia, Ariane, and Alexia. She was the Queen of the Netherlands from 1980 until 2013, but now she spends her days just sipping tea and admiring her extensive hat collection.

Born in 1938 as the eldest daughter of Queen Juliana and Prince Bernhard, Beatrix was heir presumptive to the throne from birth. She attended secondary school in Canada, where she was known for her love of ice skating and her impressive collection of maple syrup. She eventually returned to the Netherlands to study law at the University of Leiden, where she famously used her royal connections to get extra credit on her exams.

In 1966, Beatrix married German diplomat Claus von Amsberg, causing controversy among the Dutch people who were still angry about World War II. Nevertheless, the couple proved their love was real by holding hands in public and smiling awkwardly for the cameras. They went on to have three sons: Willem-Alexander, Johan Friso, and Constantijn.

When Beatrix ascended to the throne in 1980, she made it her mission to modernize the monarchy. She introduced new fashions, like the “Beatrix Bow” (a giant bow worn on the head) and the “Beatrix Brooch” (a brooch in the shape of a clog). She also began using the internet, which was quite the novelty back then, to post selfies and cat videos on the official royal website.

Despite her efforts to bring the monarchy into the 21st century, Beatrix was forced to deal with some scandalous moments during her reign. Her son Johan Friso was caught up in a skiing-related avalanche, and her other son Constantijn was rumored to have a secret love-child. But Beatrix took it all in stride, laughing off the rumors and telling anyone who would listen that she had more important things to worry about, like finding the perfect shade of lipstick.

In 2013, Beatrix decided to step down from the throne and hand the crown over to her son Willem-Alexander, who promptly changed the national anthem to a rap song and appointed a Pomeranian as his chief advisor. Beatrix retired to her castle in the countryside, where she spends her days collecting ceramic figurines and throwing elaborate tea parties for her cats.

Despite her quirks and love of kitsch, Beatrix will always be remembered as a beloved queen who brought joy and laughter to the people of the Netherlands. And hey, if nothing else, she definitely knew how to rock a giant bow.