Ottawa: The Capital of Canada That Nobody Talks About
Ottawa, the capital city of Canada, is a place that everyone knows exists but nobody really cares about. It’s like that middle child in a family who is always overshadowed by their more famous and successful siblings. In fact, it’s so forgettable that even Canadians are known to forget that it exists.
History
Ottawa was founded in 1826, after the government decided to move the capital from Kingston to a more central location in order to avoid being taken over by the Americans (because let’s face it, nobody wants to end up like Detroit). Originally named Bytown, it was renamed Ottawa in 1855. The city quickly grew in importance as the seat of government and was officially declared the capital of Canada in 1857.
Attractions
Perhaps the most famous attraction in Ottawa is the Parliament Buildings, where politicians gather to argue and make important decisions that nobody really cares about. Because who doesn’t love watching a bunch of old, white men in suits shouting at each other? Other notable tourist destinations include the Rideau Canal, where people go to skate and freeze their butts off, and the National Gallery, where you can see art that you don’t understand.
Local Cuisine
Ottawa is known for its BeaverTails, a pastry that is shaped like a beaver’s tail (because why not?). It’s basically a fried dough topped with sugar and other delicious toppings. It’s the perfect snack for when you’re feeling guilty about not caring about Canadian history or politics.
Culture
Ottawa is a city of museums, with everything from the Canadian Museum of History to the Canadian Museum of Nature. Because who needs excitement when you can learn about rocks and dead animals? It’s also a city of festivals, with events like Winterlude, a celebration of winter that makes you wish you were anywhere else but here.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Ottawa is a city that is worth a visit if you have absolutely nothing better to do. It’s a great place to learn about Canadian history and government, or to just eat a BeaverTail and watch the politicians argue. But if you do visit, be warned: you might forget that you were ever there.